Molly Lambert, In Which We Teach You How To Be A Woman In Any Boys’ Club
There’s so much good stuff in there, I honestly couldn’t really decide what to quote. Just read it, mkay?
If we live in a culture in which certain abuses are always, inherently, unforgivably horrible and wrong, then the responsibility for those abuses always rests upon the perpetrator, who has done something horrible and wrong.
If we live in a culture in which some people are unvalued enough that we are allowed to commit certain abuses upon their bodies without those abuses being considered horrible and wrong,
Then the responsibility lies with those unvalued people for acting/living/being in unvalued ways, and “choosing” to be unvalued becomes the thing that is horrible and wrong, because it was the existence of an unvalued person that created the abuse and the rape (instead of the existence of a perpetrator).
And if those unvalued people are not born with a birthmark that says “unvalued”, if they are not an inherent biological class, then that un-value must be acquired through behavior and appearance and activity.
And if that un-value can be acquired, then anybody may acquire it, accidentally or purposefully.
And if anybody may acquire that un-value, then anybody may be abused with abandon, provided they bear a passing resemblance to the unvalued class (note: this applies to raped and abused men, too, who will have their masculinity mocked as a way to identify them with the rapeable unvalued class).
And then you end up with “women who are ruining it for the rest of us.”
What that really means is, there are women who deserve to be raped and abused, and by their very existence, they put me in danger of being raped and abused, because somebody might mistake me for them.
These ideas — the cheapening of abuse and women who make it worse for other women — can only exist in a culture that already believes that abuse can be cheapened, and that some people deserve to be abused. If we believed that abuse was always wrong, no matter who the victim (or who the perpetrator), abuse could not possibly be cheapened, and no woman could ruin it for another.
If these ideas exist in your brain, if you have said these words, it’s because you swallowed this line completely. It’s because you believe some people deserve to be abused. That’s a dangerous and frightening belief to have. If you believe that some people deserve to be abused, if you open that door, you might find that you or somebody you love is behind it. And they totally deserved it, too.
By now I’m basically just quoting from every other piece The Girl links me to for excellent reading-ness (and because I’m researching the topic), but, yeah. So good. So true.
- 4x chicory
- wild mushrooms
- mushroom bouillon
Brown the butter in a large, high-walled frying pan. Slice the chicory in thin (5mm) little strips and add to the butter. Stir regularly until clear/transparent-ish.
Add 1 Liter of boiling water. Add mushroom bouillon (a.k.a. stock; use vegetable stock if you don’t have mushroom stock). Stir occasionally and cook through for 6-7 minutes, adding the chopped mushrooms around 4 minutes in.